2020 The Year In Music: August

August got deep.

In the beginning of the month the driver and I were still going at each other and my wife and I were still barely talking to each other. It was all around lesbian DRAMA!

My wife let me know she was going in to have surgery and I volunteered to take her and pick her up. I’ve said once if I’ve said a thousand times, she’s my wife and I still love her, even if she had done little to nothing, by my standards, to show me the same.

My job was in the second round of lay offs that included someone from my office this time. Pay cuts were going around and, we were going into our busiest time of the year short handed. I was SHOOK!

Don’t forget about Da Rona which, of course, was still raging on.

There was a lot of tension going around. Conversations were forced with my wife, and the driver and I couldn’t seem to do anything more than argue back and forth with each other. It was exhausting. My energy was low, again, and I was tired of the cycle so I started seeking outside help.

I started my spiritual journey back in December but I had been taking baby steps and dabbling in the journey. With all of the tension, stress, and uncertainty in my life, I turned my focus to getting more in touch with Spirit, or God, or The Universe, or whoever or whatever, was out there running this show. I needed guidance, assurance, HELP! So I tuned to God, by way of the Magic shop.

I had been fascinated with tarot cards for a while so after some very light research, I’m talking almost non existent, I got my first deck. A box set with the Rider-Waite and Crowley Thoth Deck. I was super excited and equally terrified to own my own deck. I don’t know what I thought was going to happen just by having it in my house but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little nervous.

I spent the rest of the month getting acquainted with my tarot kit, reading, and getting serious about my writing in my journal. I started to focus less on the women in my life who, at the time, seemed hell bent on making me snap mentally.

By the end of August I had opened my first tarot deck, the Rider-Waite deck. I was beginning to introduce myself to the teachings of tarot. I fell in love! Getting into tarot, almost immediately, lead me down a path of self realization and gave me a sense of direction. Even though my path wasn’t clearly defined in my mind’s eye, the first hints were apparent to me that I was on the right path. Just the act of being forced to sit down with myself in silence and focus my attention gave me a level of peace I hadn’t found in years.

Owning those tarot decks became my mood and I felt like it could last forever.

August theme song: Mood 4 Eva – Beyonce’

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