***This is my opinion. Take what resonates leave what doesn’t***

So the election is over. The victor has been named. And in your delight – victory secured – you’re now comfortable enough to join the comment sections on your favorite platforms and finally tell the truth to your friends, family, and followers about who you chose to vote for and why.

Possibly glossing over the fact that you’ve been lying to them in one shape, form, or fashion over the past few months about who you were voting for, you stand tall, shoulders back, chest out, as you share your opinion on who the best candidate was and why. You are elated that your chosen candidate has won, and you feel a sense of pride, hope, and confidence in the aftermath.

Then, all of a sudden, you start getting texts and calls from some of your friends and maybe even family members letting you know that they aren’t speaking to you anymore. You start to notice that your follower count is also dropping faster than water from a faucet. You’re crushed. Disappointed. Confused. Angry.

You feel that you merely did what you felt was best for you and your family. You feel that how you voted has nothing to do with who you are as a person.That just because you have a different opinion than them, and voted in your best interest, doesn’t mean you don’t still love them and want what’s best for them, you tell yourself.

This is all just so unfair to be ostracized, demonized, and vilified for simply making the choice that best reflects your needs and the future you want to see for your children, you think.

Eventually, you take to voicing your discomfort and dissatisfaction through a simple tweet, thread, TikTok, or reel about the injustice you are suffering and your displeasure with the fact that the people who claimed to love and support you are no longer speaking to you because of your choice in political candidate.

This gets you a round of applause from other people suffering the same injustice, and for a second or two, you feel justified, secure, and validated. But, the feeling doesn’t last long because no stranger on the internet can fill the empty space in your life left by that friend or that family member that isn’t speaking with you anymore.

Sure, you can replace followers, but true friends and family are a lot harder to come by. Though you’ve rallied a new supportive community, you’re still silently confused and hurt that the people you love are casting you aside.

“How could the people who claim to be your friends and family members suddenly turn their backs on you over a single vote?”

“Why can’t people be tolerant and respectful of differing opinions?”

“Why are people choosing to distance themselves simply because of your political preference?”

Here’s Why Your People Aren’t Your People Anymore:

***Again, my opinion. Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t. ***

If this is you, I’m here to offer you some perspective on why this vote mattered more than any other vote you’ve cast, and why you standing on the side you chose will likely get you side-eyed by the people in your inner circle who voted in the opposite direction for the next few days, weeks, months, and even years.

This President is Not Like the Other’s.

Let’s be honest, this is probably not the first time in your life when you have voted for a different candidate than the rest of your community. And for the most part, you have gone about your lives unaffected by your choices, because in every other instance of selecting a candidate, we’ve been presented with two essentially rational people who, at their worst, would create relatively minor inconveniences to your life compared to what’s at stake today. But that is just simply not the case in this election.

As the saying goes…

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

Even if you voted for our new presidential elect the first time around and survived the blowback from family and friends, this time is different.

Since his first term, we have learned that what we may have once thought were just antics and ravings from a reality TV star trolling the public for attention in the past, are actually his real views and opinions about how he sees this country and the people who inhabit it.

We now know that he means it when he says the hurtful, dangerous, dismissive, and divisive things he says about the LGBT community, minorities, women, and immigrants. Why? Because we saw it play out in real time during his first term!

And you voted for him anyway.

By doing so, you’ve basically told every person in your life who fits the description that you side with his ideas and beliefs.

The madness has actually already started for these people, by the way. Did you know that already there are reportedly mass text messages going around asking Black people to report to their slavery camps? I can’t speak to who sent this, if it is a prank or not, but the fact that it’s even going around and that people think it is funny is a problem we didn’t have until this man was elected.

You Chose Money Over People.

This man did not run his campaign on strengthening the economy. He provided no proof nor plan. What he did was take credit for the initiatives put into place by the former president while he espoused dangerous rhetoric aimed at marginalized people, people of color, women, and anyone he deemed was his enemy.

Sure, he shared some ideas about improving the economy like cutting taxes, eliminating taxes for some, temporarily capping credit card interest rates and on and on and on. But we all know that these are measures that would require congressional approval in the same way as Biden’s proposal to eliminate student loan debt. A bunch of ideas, but no real details or plans.

There are a lot of people defending their choice to vote for, he who shall not be named in this post, by emphasizing that they didn’t vote for his views but that they voted for the economy as if the two are mutually exclusive.

To you, I say:

Your desire to see an “improved” economy sat a person in a seat of power who has the ability to sign into law potentially lethal measures that could cause harm to large groups of people in this country based on his racist, misogynistic, and homophobic views.

Your desire to see an “improved” economy placed this man in position to dismantle families, disrupt entire communities, and incite undue violence against other hardworking and honest Americans who are just trying to live their lives, provide for, and protect their families, the same way that you do.

So, you’ve basically told your community that as long as he improves the economy you are comfortable with him infringing on the rights of others, taking away women’s voices, discrimination against marginalized groups, a little racism, and a little sexism, and if a few people have to die for the economy to improve… well then that’s just the price that has to be paid in order to do business.

And you’re wondering why your community isn’t kissing you on your forehead and giving you a star on your homework.

They Remember the Brutality.

Do you remember the race riots?

Do you remember the number of cases of police brutality that shot up under his first presidency?

Do you remember how many black people were targeted and gunned down in the streets for no reason?

Do you remember the revisions to the definitions of domestic violence?

Do you remember the attacks on trans people?

Do you remember being told not to take the COVID vaccine?

Do you remember being told to drink bleach?

Do you remember the insurrection at the capital that he incited and that was massively composed of members of nationalist extremist groups who hate the same people that he hates?

Do you remember how many people were hurt?

Do you remember his own sexual assault cases?

Do you remember collusion with Russia?

Do you remember the kids being bullied more in school because of the color of their skin?

Your friends and family do. Your followers do too.

And you voted to bring him back. What is this supposed to say to all the people who were affected by all of these things?

Oh that’s right! I almost forgot, you don’t support his views, you don’t share his beliefs, you believe all people are equal, deserve rights, and should be treated justly and fairly.

You just want the economy to improve. You believe that he’s only going to improve the economy and make good on only those promises. Not the promises he’s made to rid this country of his enemies, who happen to be people of color, immigrants, women, and the LGBTQ community.

Sorry about that!

You Chose the Latter.

And last but certainly not the least, when given the choice to put your money where your mouth is and support the educated, experienced, decorated, articulate, accomplished, intelligent, capable, bi-racial woman with a strategy that you could hold in your hands, you chose the illiterate, inexperienced, dangerous, violent, lying, white man.

Now to you, this may not mean much. But, to all the black women I know, this election was the nations way of affirming what we already know to be true about our experiences in this country. That y’all like to piss on us and tell us it’s raining.

That we can be the most qualified, educated, experienced, decorated, articulate, accomplished, intelligent, capable candidates for jobs, access to resources, schools, sports, and any other aim in life but time and time again this country will choose to negate or overlook us, even when it is against it’s best interest. Then turn around and gaslight and vilify us for trying to reach further than we are “allowed” to go.

This election is hitting black women particularly hard as we are not only having to cope with our own feelings about this, but we are also consoling our daughters.

Not to mention also having to show up in spaces and work alongside people who want to “hey girl hey us”, be invited to the barbecue, rub elbows with us at networking events, and tell us to our faces that they support black lives, black careers, black women, black families, while knowing that so many of you raced to the polls to elect a president who has no problem telling us that he doesn’t, and by extension that you don’t either.

Black women are at the forefront of damn near every movement in this country. Black women show up and support every cause. Black women are among the most educated. Black women are the backbone of this country. We lead the culture. We set the trends. We’ve raised your children and wiped your asses. We’ve given life and limb for the growth and prosperity of this country and the people who inhabit it and at every turn this country slaps us in the face.

And you’re confused as to why the black women on your feed are heavily divesting from you who claim that you stand with black women, but you voted against one to put a man in office who not only has a lack of respect for women, but probably even more so for black women.

The Point

Nobody is faulting you or trying to shame you for wanting to make your voice heard and aligning yourself with who you felt was the best candidate. Your voice, your vote.

We all want a better quality of life, we all want an improved economy, we all want an end to senseless wars, we all want to feel safe in our communities and country, we all want to live freely and to have the ability to choose what is best for ourselves and our families.

Your friends and family have decided that protecting the rights and civil liberties of others is of paramount importance for them and their families. They chose to stand with the marginalized, misrepresented, oppressed, victimized, and ostracized. They too have concerns over the economy and the state of the nation but they felt that it was more important to choose a candidate with a proven track record and a plan, who wouldn’t put the lives of the people that they love in danger while they go about making changes to improve the quality of life for us all.

You, on the other hand, went in the opposite direction. Sure, you may not hold the president elects views or see people the way that he does but you still put your vote behind someone who threatens the lives of people you love, work with, and commune with everyday.

Maybe you really don’t think that things will be bad this time. Maybe you still believe that he’s just talking and that there are safety measures in place to stop him from running rampant.

Maybe you care, maybe you don’t.

But at the end of the day you chose a criminal, sexist, misogynist, racist, homophobe, as the best person to deliver you a more stable economy and a safer country for you and your family.

You may feel like he is the best choice because he promised you change. Your former friends and now distanced loved ones respect your decision, but they don’t have to stay associated with you for doing so.

It’s one thing to voice your discomfort on the internet and to anyone who will listen about the fact that people are removing themselves from your life. You have that right. But what you don’t get to do is try to manipulate and control people into staying in your life through guilt and shame tactics because they no longer see you as a safe person because of the way you chose to cast your vote.