I’m going to save you some time reading this by letting you know how this all ends. If your nervous system is shot, chances are you’re the problem. I know how y’all like to cry fake outrage on the internet, so I’ll drop a disclaimer. I’m not suggesting that everyone with a dysregulated nervous system is at fault for it being that way. But for the majority of y’all, the fault is yours, and I said what I said. With that out of the way…

Let’s Get to the Business

I know quite a few eldest daughters who will skim this article, see the suggested ways to destress below, roll their eyes, and click off this page because honestly, we’ve already heard all these things before. Maybe you’ve tried these avenues and at this point are frustrated with the lack of tangible results.

You know I’m talking to you if you:

• Are the self-care queen! Hair done, nails done, everything did, and stay did! Your monthly or weekly massage and facial appointments are non-negotiable.
• Take Yoga, Spin, Hike, get all the sleep, and practice meditation.
• Communicate and socialize with your spiritual community on the regular.
• Engage in and enjoy your hobbies daily, weekly, monthly.

And yet, your nervous system is still more shot out than a spaced out stoner college freshman. You look like a bad bih, cook like a bad bih, go and get your hair and nails fixed like a bid bih and yet you’re dealing with all of the below and probably more as a result of your dysregulated nervous system.

If this is you, don’t worry boo! I got just the answer to how you can regulate your own nervous system. Before we get into it though, let’s check out a few signs that your nervous system is whacked out.

Signs Your Body is Screaming “Chill Out”

Drama Queen Mode: You’re always the main character in your own life drama, and everything is a crisis that must be faced with drama and flair. Even the smallest inconveniences can turn into monumental events that demand all the attention and emotional energy you can muster. The world revolves around your experiences, and each moment is an opportunity for extraordinary reactions and melodrama.

The Walking Dead: You’re tossing and turning all night, and you’re constantly yawning and hitting the snooze button in the morning. Despite getting 7, 9, or even 10 hours of sleep, you wake up almost every morning (or afternoon) feeling just as exhausted as you did the night before. You probably need at least three cups of coffee to get you through each day, and you’re counting the hours to get home and go back to bed after work; only, once you get there, you’re now wide awake and find that you can’t drift off until after midnight, only to awake the next morning to repeat the cycle again.

The Gut Check: Your stomach’s a rollercoaster, and you’re either constipated or running to the bathroom every five minutes. Either you’re binge-eating or not eating at all. You’ve got nausea, heartburn, indigestion, an upset stomach, diarrhea, and keep Pepto-Bismol on deck.

The Breakout: Your skin’s a disaster zone, and you don’t know what to do. Despite following the 57-step skin care routine you’ve seen on TikTok that swears you will have glass skin in three short days, you keep finding new breakouts, red spots, hyper-pigmentation, pimples, eczema, and blemishes.

The Mood Swings: You go from zero to a hundred in two seconds flat. One minute you’re laughing and having a great time, the next minute you’re sulking in a corner innundated with sad memories from something that happened in 1946. The next minute you’re jumping off the walls with excitement and the next you’re ready to gang bang on bacon, for no reason at all.

You’re a Grumpy Gus: You are constantly snapping at people and people tent to walk on egg shells around you. You’re one wrong look away from losing your cool at any given moment and you don’t care who gets it. Your emotions are all over the place! You’re feeling irritable, frustrated, and ready to explode all the time, anytime. Even small things, like a spilled coffee or a slow internet connection, can send you into a tizzy.

Here’s Why This is Happening

Stress, stress, stress, stress, stress—baby, you got all the stress, and it can lead to a whole host of problems, from anxiety and depression to heart disease.

You’re constantly juggling work, family, and social commitments, and it feels like your plate is overflowing. You’re always stressed, always anxious, and always on the brink of a meltdown. Girl, your nervous system is screaming for help!

Chronic stress can wreak havoc on your body and mind. But don’t worry, there are ways to manage stress and reclaim your sanity.The key is to find what works best for you. Whether it’s hitting the gym, practicing yoga, or simply taking a few deep breaths, make time for self-care. And remember, it’s okay to say no sometimes. You don’t have to do it all.

Now, the above paragraph is where I imagine my eldest daughters checking out of the conversation but I dare you to stay with me until the end.

How to Chill Out and Reclaim Your Sanity

Set some damn boundaries girl!

Now, you probably read those words and your brain went into thinking about all the ways you can start telling other people to fuck off but I’m not talking about other people here. I’m talking about setting some boundaries with you, about you!

Sit your ass down!

We get it you’re a girl boss. Your job would crumble if you weren’t there to pick up all the pieces and do the job of 3 people.

Your husband, or wife, would be lost if you didn’t micromanage, schedule, and remind them of every thing.

Your completely capable and age appropriate kids will waste away to nothing if you don’t carefully craft a homemade menu of nutritious balanced meals and serve them on matching dinnerware every night by seven pm.

If you are not there to shoulder the burden and responsibility for everything and everyone around you the world would implode on itself and you would be the one to blame. Or at least that’s what you’re telling yourself.

Surprise surprise! Your egoic brain is responsible for this and your control issues are its main cheerleader.

Here’s the thing! This type of thinking and acting is a self fulfilling prophecy that will keep you stuck in the role to rescue, save, and fix everyone and everything.

Remember the phrase “Don’t fix what ain’t broke”? Well, guess what, you working yourself into a tizzy being everything for everyone all the time is not going to make anyone feel sorry for you and decide to send you help.

Nobody is coming to save you.

In fact, what they will actually do is give you praise for your martyrdom that doesn’t do a damn thing for your nervous system but affirm that you want it to keep functioning beyond its capacity.

Meanwhile, everyone else is getting exactly what they want and need from you because you insist that “Nobody else can get the job done the way that you do, so you may as well just do it yourself.” and “They aren’t going to do it right, so I may as well do it myself.” or even “They are unreliable, and I can’t trust them to finish what they start.”

All of these statements are based on your inability to let go of control and let other people do their own fair share of the work. There are plenty of reasons, aka excuses, you may want to shout at me through this computer to justify why you have to, need to, and are obligated to behave this way. And I feel you. These reasons all feel very valid to you because…

Surprise Surprise! You don’t know how to stand up for yourself, maintain boundaries, and you are conflict avoidant.

You avoid having difficult conversations with coworkers, family members, and friends about incomplete tasks or unmet expectations; you’ll instead decide to “just do it myself.”

And, instead of letting other people experience the consequences of their actions or lack thereof, your ego wants you to swoop in and save them from their discomfort. They never get the opportunity to learn from their mistakes because you never let them make mistakes. You go out of your way to make sure everyone else is comfortable around you while you sacrifice your own.

And how’s that working out for you?

If you’re tired of looking like a million bucks but feeling like shit because your nervous system is totaled, it’s time to stop avoiding the one thing on all these “improve your nervous system” articles you keep reading and actually set some boundaries with yourself and with the people around you.

Get out of your ego thinking that you are the only person capable of doing the things you do.

Let go of your need to control how other people do things. Let the be wrong so they can learn how to get it right on their own.

And start holding people accountable to do what they need to do.

See! I told you I had a different approach.

Reflection Questions

1. Self-Awareness Check: Do you recognize any of these signs in your own life? How do they impact your daily experiences?
2. Challenge Your Beliefs: Are you holding onto limiting beliefs about your ability to delegate or set boundaries? How can you challenge these beliefs and embrace a more balanced approach?

If you’re ready to take control of your nervous system and live a more balanced life, consider working with me. With my expertise in boundary setting and self-care, I can help you:

• Identify and challenge limiting beliefs
• Develop effective stress management strategies
• Set and maintain healthy boundaries
• Cultivate a more balanced and fulfilling lifestyle

Ready to take the next step? Schedule a consultation with me at https://thesawyerclubonline.com/contact/ today and start your journey to a healthier, happier you.