Manifest Monday

Happy Monday!!

The Sawyer Club has been a brain child of mine for the last three years. The idea came to me while I was struggling to find direction and purpose in my life. At the time, I was looking for support, positive entertainment, and sisterhood. I was looking for a way to share my intuitive gifts and the learned lessons of life experiences in a meaningful way. I wanted to give back, but I didn’t know where to start. I looked online, and out in the world, for communities like the one I am creating, but was unsuccessful. Everything I found was focused on dating, nightlife, and city adventures but I never came across a place that is like this one. Maybe my Google is broken, lol.

After looking for and not finding the space I was looking for, I started to wonder how many other women there were like me that were looking for this type of space. I couldn’t be the only black lesbian in this city looking for like-minded women to share ideas, stories, and community. I wasn’t the only one looking for a platform where I could just be myself and not have to worry about code switching, hiding my identity, bullying, and all the other negative shit that comes with being a black woman who happens to love women. I was looking for a place that shared stories of people similar to me, who experienced some of the things that I was experiencing, and who could offer insights and different perspectives to problems that black lesbians’ experience. The longing to find such a space created the dream I wanted to see become a reality.

With feeling like I had finally figured out what I wanted to do with my life and how I wanted to leave my mark on this world, I proclaimed to the universe and anyone who asked me, that I was going to start a social club focused on uplifting black lesbian women and girls in the city. Because my desire was, and is, to unify women and girls of color in Texas through shared experiences, acts of service, sisterhood, and communion. I decided then, that I was the person to accomplish this feat. I had no damn knowledge of how I was going to do this and I don’t even think I gave it that much thought. I just decided, this is what I was going to do.

At the start I was incredibly new to blogging, had never volunteered for anything in my life, barely knew anything about writing creatively, or where to find the audience I was trying to attract. I still wanted this though, BADLY. I didn’t care or even notice that I was completely totally green. I had no idea what this journey would take to complete but I said, what I said!

I remember back then, I sat down filling notebook after notebook with ideas. Again, I didn’t know what I was doing but I was doing something, right? I called friends in the middle of the night sometimes brainstorming ideas. I was on websites creating logos I couldn’t pay for. I was looking at community events I only wished I had the balls to attend solo. I was daydreaming to the detriment of my nine to five job. All the while I was confidently and crazily insistent on the fact that this would be so, merely because I filled so many pages with good ideas. This was manifesting.

Through my journey I’ve started so many blogs, bothered so many friends to like follow share, researched topics, tried different approaches, goaded my friends into starting podcasts, and going to volunteer events with me. I’ve struggled joyfully, and at times not so joyfully, to bringing this idea forward. I knew I wanted to build something monumental. Something that would last generations. Something concrete that women would be able to turn to, to find light, wisdom, and support. What I didn’t notice through the process was that even though I thought I was failing on my dreams, because of so many false starts, I had actually begun a manifestation sequence that would eventually lead me to where I am today.

Looking back I’m now beginning to realize that I’ve been on this hustle to make this happen for the entire three years. Even when I didn’t realize I was working on it, I was working on it. The more I began to learn, the more persistence I applied, the more I said it out loud, the closer I got to the point where I am now.

After three years with a bit more experience with writing, networking, volunteering, and figuring out the damn Instagram and Snapchat, women who also share my passion and hope for this space to exist have started to flow to me. Opportunities to collaborate with other women have started to pop up. Volunteer events have begun to fall in my lap. I’ve started coming across other writers, bloggers, entrepreneurs, and supporters of my cause. You see, without all the false starts, I wouldn’t been able to understand the things I have come to know I are required to accomplish such a feat.

I realize that the thought I had three long years ago were the seeds of manifestation that lead me to where I am today. While The Sawyer Club is still very much so in it’s infancy, I am watching my baby grow into the place I created in my mind.

This site, for what is it today, is the result of a manifestation that I didn’t even know I was creating. Three years ago, I didn’t know anything about … well, anything lol. But everyday I am learning, growing, and evolving, much like this site. My faith is ever growing that this space will exist for us as I watch the seeds of an idea form into something tangible before me.

You are only as successful as the work you are willing to put into any endeavor.

– Paraphrasing some philosophical dude…

If you have a story of manifestation in your life, I’d love to hear about it! Leave you experience in the comments below.

Thank you for letting me share my experience with you! Happy Monday 🙂

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